I think I blogged about this years ago, but can't find it now. The Miracle of the Potatoes. How at this time of year you can plunge your hands into a mound of dirt, and miracle of miracles, you can pull food right out of the earth. How the potatoes have been hidden underground, each cell dividing and growing and maturing, silent and urgent like babies in their mothers' wombs, ignored by all of the other more flamboyant vegetables--the eye-catching tomatoes, the sophisticated cucumbers, dangling on the vine like circus royalty, or the militaristic lettuce, marching in straight rows, cut down in their prime in the line of duty.
The garden has been a miracle this year. Except for the onions, we had bumper crops of everything. The freezer is packed with containers of pasta sauce. There is a veritable wall of sauce in our freezer right now. This year we moved the tomatoes to the end of the garden where they would get the most sun, and planted some Early Birds, so we've had tomatoes since June. This year we learned about spaghetti made from squash and zucchini. We're going to blanch some zucchini for vegetable soup this winter. Maybe homemade Minestrone. And we've been able to share quite a bit of our bounty with our neighbors. The boys downstairs especially love my zucchini bread. I don't want to tell them how much sugar the recipe calls for, which is what probably makes their mouths water.
The garden, though, has been on its slow decline since about August. It is almost imperceptible, but if you're out there every day you can see it. Gardening, even in a small backyard plot like ours, puts you in tune with and makes you aware of the natural world around you. Even in the most simplistic way, you note the amount of rainfall, too much or too little. But as the earth beats its way around the sun, if you leave yourself open, you can sense not only the change in temperature or the dulling of leaves, but also the intensity of light as the earth moves further from the sun in its orbit. You can tune into the same subtle cues the birds use to begin migrating, or the animals to steel themselves for the winter. It's what our modern life numbs us to, what it steals from us, our place in nature, which, by the way, still won't be denied even if we're not paying attention.
It's not even the official end of summer yet, and the garden is already looking like it's October. Weird weather. If it weren't for the garden, I might not know this subtle change in the climate, and it makes me keep a weather eye out to see if winter might not come a month earlier too. People who work the land and the oceans know about such things. We each are cells in a larger organism; in nature's petri dish. Not only creatures whose lives pass before their eyes in a second, but at the same time keeping in step with the slow, patient drumbeat.
Decay is as much a part of life and birth, and a little garden is a constant reminder of that. I know we don't want to be reminded of our inevitable demise, but personally I've always like to hear the clock ticking, be reminded that my time on this planet is limited. If I have my mother's genes, there's a good chance I'll have only about ten years left on this earth. She, and a good percentage of her siblings, all succumbed to cancer at 68. You can't deny nature, and you can't deny genetics. Time--our lives--is not something we should be wasting. I stand in the middle of our garden and see it's not what it once was, yet still produces some of the most exquisite food one can imagine, and I can't help but draw a parallel to my own life. I can't run as fast or as far as I used to, though I still pass other runners, both young and old, who are also running along the bay. But, anything physical is taxing for me. A few weeks ago while moving our daughter into her new second-floor apartment, I vainly hauled a too-heavy box up the stairs, only to stop at the landing where no one could see me catch my breath.
I now need less sleep at night, and a nap in the afternoon. This change came as slowly and as undeniably as the change of seasons, until one day there was no other possibility left: You're not sick or depressed, John, you're getting old. Older. But like I said, I like to hear the clock ticking. Like a metronome keeping time, I can pace myself to still live my life the way I want to live it, only at a different pace. I can still produce, I can still create as well as I did in the springtime and early summer of my life. Probably better, because after all, I'm not a plant. This is only an analogy I'm painting here, and I've learned and harvested wisdom through experience. This is me accepting my place in my life, accepting the phase that I'm in, not denying my age as the marketers would have me do, but embracing my life and celebrating it through little act I perform, whether it's a planting a garden or writing a play or simply giving a smile to a stranger on the subway, because through my life I've learned things that I can share, as honestly and cleanly, as unabashedly and openly, as a plant offers its fruit.
Music, theater, gardening, travel, current affairs, and my personal life, not always in that order. I try to keep it interesting, I rarely hold back, because one thing I truly believe in is the shared experience of this reality we call life. We're all in this together, people. More than we even know.
Showing posts with label maturity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label maturity. Show all posts
Monday, September 15, 2014
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
I'm getting older, too....and happier
Yes, I put a lot of stock in astrology. It's not that I believe in it explicitly, but it's just one of the tools in my toolbox. I don't believe it's the work of the devil or the occult, as a serious Christian once told me, who said she considered it a sin to read the horoscope in the daily newspaper. Do you read your fortune cookie when you go out for Chinese? Her answer was, yes. So what's the difference, I asked. Of course, she couldn't see the logic.
Anyway, this was my horoscope on my Facebook page today:
John,
Friendships are in the process of a deep personal overhaul. It's not really your friends who are changing - it's you. You are getting older and more mature, and your family or home situation may have an impact on an old friend who has gotten older but not wiser lately.
Hmmm.... and Landslide is playing in my head...funny how all this works....I used to analyze and try to figure this stuff out. I was accused of being too intense, too cerebral. Now I don't think about it too much; I just notice and live and enjoy and marvel at it all...
This has been going on with me for the past couple of years. I've looked hard at a lot of the people I had in my life, and thought that, while they weren't bad people, they just weren't good for me. And I removed them from my life. And this bothered me...a lot. I thought I was being harsh and cruel, something I never thought I was, or that I wanted to be.
But more and more as I talk to people my age, or rather, at the same relative stage I am in my life, it seems all this sorting and culling out is all normal and natural. I thought so, but it's nice to have validation. I have people in my life now, but very few, far less than I've ever had before which has made for some very lonely times, but when I'm with them life is wonderful. They're my children and one or two very old friends, and one or two new friends. People I know have told me they've either gone through the same stage, or are going through the same stage now.
People grow older and change. And some people, hopefully I'm one of them, grow wiser as as we get older. Unfortunately, some, many people don't grow wiser (and I'm very well aware that that is a very subjective statement), and you find the personal relationship you're in with them much like the ones you had when you were in high school or in your twenties. They haven't changed much since that time, and that's usually a result of not really living a life, or having real life-changing experiences. They haven't walked through the fire and emerged on the other side.
And that can get mighty wearing on a person. And, many times, it's destructive to you. And you can't let that happen. It's a hard thing to let people go in your life. It's not something most of us do naturally. We tend to either stay or perpetuate relationships long after their time is up, long after they've become unhealthy or destructive. You have to take that first step. And the next and then the next. It gets easier because, not surprisingly, your life gets better. The pain or anxiety or discomfort that was always there goes away, and a certain kind of peace takes over. That peace might best be described as happiness, or contentment.
Anyway, this was my horoscope on my Facebook page today:
John,
Friendships are in the process of a deep personal overhaul. It's not really your friends who are changing - it's you. You are getting older and more mature, and your family or home situation may have an impact on an old friend who has gotten older but not wiser lately.
Hmmm.... and Landslide is playing in my head...funny how all this works....I used to analyze and try to figure this stuff out. I was accused of being too intense, too cerebral. Now I don't think about it too much; I just notice and live and enjoy and marvel at it all...
This has been going on with me for the past couple of years. I've looked hard at a lot of the people I had in my life, and thought that, while they weren't bad people, they just weren't good for me. And I removed them from my life. And this bothered me...a lot. I thought I was being harsh and cruel, something I never thought I was, or that I wanted to be.
But more and more as I talk to people my age, or rather, at the same relative stage I am in my life, it seems all this sorting and culling out is all normal and natural. I thought so, but it's nice to have validation. I have people in my life now, but very few, far less than I've ever had before which has made for some very lonely times, but when I'm with them life is wonderful. They're my children and one or two very old friends, and one or two new friends. People I know have told me they've either gone through the same stage, or are going through the same stage now.
People grow older and change. And some people, hopefully I'm one of them, grow wiser as as we get older. Unfortunately, some, many people don't grow wiser (and I'm very well aware that that is a very subjective statement), and you find the personal relationship you're in with them much like the ones you had when you were in high school or in your twenties. They haven't changed much since that time, and that's usually a result of not really living a life, or having real life-changing experiences. They haven't walked through the fire and emerged on the other side.
And that can get mighty wearing on a person. And, many times, it's destructive to you. And you can't let that happen. It's a hard thing to let people go in your life. It's not something most of us do naturally. We tend to either stay or perpetuate relationships long after their time is up, long after they've become unhealthy or destructive. You have to take that first step. And the next and then the next. It gets easier because, not surprisingly, your life gets better. The pain or anxiety or discomfort that was always there goes away, and a certain kind of peace takes over. That peace might best be described as happiness, or contentment.
Landslide
You reach an age...or maybe it's not an age because age really just is a state of mind...so we reach a stage in our lives where we really stop giving a shit about a lot of things that we used to spend way too much time and energy worrying about...we do and say things and don't care how they sound or come across, because that's just the way we are...that's just the way the Creator made us and we just accept ourselves for who we are, not good, not bad, certainly not perfect, just human...one of the biggest reliefs in my life was learning that I'm just human...at one point in my life, it seems like so long ago, so much was expected of me...others expected things of me that I wasn't capable of doing, no more than you'd expect a fish to play the guitar...I was put on a pedestal, and the dizzy height of that place is somewhere I don't ever want to be again...and amazingly, when you stop trying to be that person that everyone else wants you to be and you become that person you really are, the horizon just opens up...
Anyway, all the above comes around because I'm about to say something that's going to sound so weird and bizarre, and I plain old don't care: I wish I had Stevie Nicks' voice, at least when she was in her prime, because I love voices that aren't beautiful voices. Lucinda Williams. Steve Earle. John Prine. People whose rough voices add so much to the song.
And the combination of Nicks' voice and the lyrics make this song so powerful.
Anyway, all the above comes around because I'm about to say something that's going to sound so weird and bizarre, and I plain old don't care: I wish I had Stevie Nicks' voice, at least when she was in her prime, because I love voices that aren't beautiful voices. Lucinda Williams. Steve Earle. John Prine. People whose rough voices add so much to the song.
And the combination of Nicks' voice and the lyrics make this song so powerful.
I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life
Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too
Well...
Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older, too
Well I'm getting older too
So, take this love and take it down
Year and if you climb a mountain and ya turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well maybe
Well maybe
Well maybe the landslide will bring you down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life
Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too
Well...
Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older, too
Well I'm getting older too
So, take this love and take it down
Year and if you climb a mountain and ya turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well maybe
Well maybe
Well maybe the landslide will bring you down
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