The morning after...

The Christmas holidays were all that I hoped, and today was the day I chose to face, again, reality.

Not a very pretty sight. Not pretty at all. Back to gathering samples for my portfolio, both the fake leather kind and the online. Back to making a plan of attack, exactly what am I going to do, what do I want to do, and what will I be able to do in this effing economy that seems to be breaking everyone's back.

During Christmas I wanted to keep my head in the sand, which is not typical of me. I've always prided myself with leading with my chin, but you know, this face can't quite take the bruising it used to.

Classes are always a good thing to take when you're looking for work, and I'm scrambling trying to figure out what I can work in, and just importantly what I can afford, and I have to do this before tomorrow because until tomorrow any class can be taken off on my '08 taxes, and that, to me, means money in the bank.

I'm looking at music and acting classes. I think it's time to make that big leap from stage to screen. And music is the other thing I want to be able to work on, now that I have some time. I'm back to playing in those twenty minute spurts that are so helpful--pick up the geetar and play hard for a good 20 minutes. Do that a couple of times of day, focusing on problem areas, and you're bound to improve. Or just play because that's what you do; just like it's just what birds do.

And I've got my list, a floppy little notepad on which I write everything I need to do. Keep busy, that's so important. Years ago I learned that you put everything on, including some easy, no-brainer stuff, but still stuff you want to get done, like make the bed or wash the dishes. It really works, giving you a sense of accomplishment when you scratch it off your list. That way you don't bog down with the big stuff. And whittle the big stuff down into smaller parts. That way you get to cross off more, and get that feeling of accomplishment.

The other thing I do is just quit for the day. I learned a long time ago that you'll never get everything done in one day. Tomorrow will come and that list will still be there; it won't go away. You need the rest and relaxation; just put it out of your mind. It's hard. I'm waking up at the old bewitching hour again. I did last night, woke up around 2:30 and just laid there for hours. The sun was lightening the sky when I finally dozed back to sleep. I didn't want to get up and wake up Sue, so I just laid there and thought.