Monday, January 12, 2009

Please sir, can you spare a dime?

Last week I pored over my contacts and made a list. This morning I started making calls. And I was hesitant about picking up the phone. Which is weird because a lot of the names on the list are people who I worked with for a number of years, and for whom I did some really good work. Again, it's all that business about not having a job...the default feelings that come with it all that you're just not up to snuff. Plus there's the fear of rejection.

But you just do it, and suddenly, it's so easy. The first place I called even had it on record that I had contacted them in the summer, and that I had been giving them a heads up that I'd probably be looking soon. And then the remembrance of those ensuing five months--five months!...I twisted in the wind for five months!--flooded into my head, of all that uncertainty at the agency and it just wasn't a lot of fun. You make do. You make your own fun. But getting the axe was the best thing, really. In some ways, I do feel sorry for the people who were left.

And it wasn't much to get back into things. I'm good at this, building, working, organizing, and I like a challenge. I don't run. And selling yourself is a good thing because it brings to the forefront of your mind who you are and your worth. It's quite an affirming thing to realize that you really do have something to offer.

And the most ridiculous part about this is I am a writer and an actor. Hell, we're supposed to be out of work, aren't we? It's a great time to re-evaluate and plan and try something new. Kathryn even said to me last night that I should pursue the one thing that I really love--photography. Young people know, and are fearless. Just do it, they think.

1 comment:

Joan said...

Is photography truly the one thing that you really love? I knew that you really dig it, but I did not know the depth of your feelings!

Let's go shooting, soon, k?

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