Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Danger, Will Robinson

The manual came with warnings. Three to be exact, and just like the Homeland Security colors, they started low but rose progressively higher as the threat increased.

We had:

WARNING: This indication alerts you to the fact that any improper use ignoring the contents described herein can result in potential death or serious injury.

God, okay...I'll be careful.

CAUTION: This indication alerts you to the fact that any improper use ignoring the contents described herein can result in potential injury or may cause a material loss.

Mercy, I'll be careful.

OPERATION PRECAUTIONS: The items contained in this section alert you to the fact that any improper use ignoring the contents described herein may negatively affect product performance and functionality.

So, what do you think we're talking about here? A chain saw, perhaps?

Nope, it's a pair of Nikon binoculars, and I swear there are warnings that could cause serious injury or death. Like taking the binocs by the strap and swinging them around your head. Leaving them in an unstable place where they could fall and cause injury. Pinching your finger when adjusting them. There's more. A lot more.

Effing lawyers.

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