Oh God, it's the holidays

Christmas decorations are in the stores. Christmas ads are in the papers. Next week is Thanksgiving. Today in the bank a very cheerful teller just went on and on about Thanksgiving and Christmas. "Oh, don't tell me you don't like Thanksgiving," he admonished.

I hated the holidays when I was younger, because I lived in such a screwed up family and any attempt to be one of those happy all-American families that were constantly being rammed down your throat through advertisements just frustrated and angered and depressed me. Then kids came along, and I loved them, starting with Halloween and running all the way through to New Year's Eve. I've always hated New Year's Eve, though, and probably always will.

But now I'm back to my old ways. Divorced. The family all split up, you'd think that I'd like the holidays, the time to be togehter. But really all it does is reinforce that we're not togther, and that we aren't the all-American family, though who is, right? For the first time in five or six years, buddy, John and I won't be cooking Thanksgiving dinner together. His life is changing, and so what little tradition I ever had in my life, is gone. But, that's okay. More and more, as my life just sort of evolves, the grand meal, all the presents at Christmas, seems like so much obscenity. To cook a huge meal at Thanksgiving that I can't afford in the first place under the auspices of friends and family is just really catering to the forces of commerce. Same for Christmas. If the family isn't together, then what's the point? The point is to celebrate that.

I like the every days. You know: hanging out on the couch with one of my daughters or with Sue on some non-descript day in the middle of some non-descript month. That, to me, is living.