My Old Friend the Blues

It's funny how my brain works. For almost my entire life, I viewed myself as a writer, hands downs. And I still do. Writing's still at the base, the very bottom block that if it were kicked out I'd topple.

But music is more and more becoming a dominate force, and now I have playlists in my brain that seem to accurately reflect how I'm feeling. That's where the lyrics and vids on this blog come from. They're a really accurate barometer for how I'm doing (if anyone really cares.)

So,it was no surprise that halfway through my sleep and when I woke this morning I had Steve Earle singing My Old Friend the Blues in my head. A conversation with the ex can do that. The sudden reminder that I felt like this a lot of the time, and while it's gone away it's still pretty familiar.

And I gotta throw in here, my ex isn't a bad person. She isn't. We're just really different. Opposites attract, most definitely. But there has to be some sort of commonality to keep you together, and it was just years and years of tugging against each other. It can wear on you. Wear on you to the point that today I have a headache grinding away the back of my head and my shoulders hurt like they always used to.

I think we were just too young to get married. I think most people are, to tell the truth.

But now we have separate lives and our lives are so different. Just different values and goals and dreams. And, just like in the marriage, she wants me to live her life, live by her rules, do things her way (at least that's my perception) and that's where the grind comes from.

It's hard to change. It's hard to accept change, even for someone like me who most people will say have changed the most, though I'd say I'm just me, this is the me that's always been there, lying under the surface, just sort of sleeping.



Anyway, Sue and I just look at each other and say we're going to keep our eye on the life we want, live it the way we want, knowing that it's not bad, it's good, good for everyone in the long run, and we don't hurt anyone.

Just when every ray of hope was gone
I should have known that you would come along
I can't believe I ever doubted you
My old friend the blues

Another lonely night, a nameless town
If sleep don't take me first, you'll come around
'Cause I know I can always count on you
My old friend the blues

Lovers leave and friends will let you down
But you're the only sure thing that I've found
No matter what I do I'll never lose
My old friend the blues

Just let me hide my weary heart in you
My old friend the blues