Mitt Romney not for president redux

I massaged the post from a few days ago hopefully making it make more sense:

So, it’s official. Mitt Romney is running for president. Or rather, it was announced that he would announce next week that he’s running for the office. This is like some corporate dweeb who insists on having a meeting about having a meeting. Is this really what we want in the White House? Someone who complicates the simple process of telling us something we already know? Haven’t we had enough of political double-speak and public relations shenanigans?

Anyway, it doesn’t matter because the Mitt-man will never even come close to making it to Pennsylvania Avenue for four very interesting reasons.

First, American voters will never again elect into the White house someone from Massachusetts. Middle America thinks Massachusetts is the hot bed for the “L” word which stands for liberal. It also stands for loony as in loony bin which is how the rest of America sees Massachusetts. Romney, whether he likes it or not, whether it’s true or not, will be associated with the likes of Ted Kennedy (who, by the way, makes a terrific senator and should never have even considered being a candidate for the Peter Principle), John Kerry, and Mike Dukakis.

Second, Massachusetts is the state that gave the country gay marriages, and no matter that Romney opposed gay marriage the way the rest of us oppose the 10 Plagues of Egypt, he’s going to be associated with that, too. The big question he’ll be asked is, if he was so against it, why didn’t he stop it? There are some tough old eggs out in the center of the country who will ask him point blank how and why he let a bunch of liberals push him around like that, and if he couldn’t push back on them, how the heck his he going to push back on Korea?

Third, he is going to get ripped over the Big Dig, from its enormous cost overrides to shoddy workmanship to people dying from pieces of concrete the size of a tennis court falling on them. Never mind that he inherited the project. If elected, he’d inherit Iraq, too, and if he couldn’t manage a public works project, how is he going to manage that mess?

Finally, he’s too squeaky clean. Americans like their politicians a bit tarnished, then redeemed. George Jr. had his partying at Yale then found Christ. Clinton didn’t inhale, among other things, but kept apologizing like mad. Reagan was divorced, but then married Nancy. Romney is too far up on his moral high horse.

It’s clear he’s just going to be a footnote in the 2008 election. But with luck maybe in true Massachusetts’ tradition he’ll even be the source of some humorous diversions. Remember Dukakis riding around in that tank with the goofy-looking helmet?