Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Playing catch-up

I'm playing catch-up in just about every aspect of my life. The songs I'm writing are about stuff that was in my head two years ago. I wish I could pull out what's in there now. I was showing Kathryn just the other night a little bit of a tune I wrote, a little three chord thing that starts with D and then goes to G and it goes back and forth like that three times then it swings over to A and it all reminds me so much of Kathryn on a swing when she was little. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, then sail away with the A.

There's another song that I wrote the music for, about George Mallory of all people, and about living life hard and to the fullest and giving it all you got. Struggling with the lyrics. Baxter has compared me to old George, saying I, too, made it to the top but died on the way down. It was more that I was left for dead, but that's neither here nor there. I've got nothing to be ashamed of. I didn't turn back. I didn't look down. I didn't lie and say I made it to the top when I didn't. I made it, was left for dead, but I gave it all I had and that's all that can be expected of us.

I'm living life again out on the fringe, simplifying my life as I go along, wanting to simplify it as much as I possibly can, and in doing so things become so clear. You don't have so many obligations and responsibilities hanging over you, forcing you to do things you don't necessarily want to do, compromising (to my way of thinking "The Big C" isn't cancer, it's compromise.) You can think and do and feel as you please. It's like hiking alone up in the mountains, with everything you need on your back and the freedom to go where you want.

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