Domestic abuse is a human issue, not a woman's issue

The politically correct crowd will have my hide by the end of this blog.

Mary Weiland, battered wife of wild ass and Axl Rose wannabe Scott Wieland, is taking responsibility for getting beat up and in fights with her husband. She beats on him as much as he beats on her. Why they keep this up is beyond me, but people do this all the time. That’s not the point of this blog.

So, shall we?

Good for you, Mary. This is what I’ve maintained all along: In domestic abuse, it takes two to tango. Most of the time, that is. I’m not saying there aren’t women who are real victims of violent people. Of course there are. Guess what? There are men out there who are victims of women with serious problems, too.

I’m trying to pull domestic abuse out of the realm of being solely a woman’s issue (although it was right that feminist raised this issue under their flag) and put it squarely where it belongs: A societal issue that affects both men and women.

Women physically beat up men all the time and don’t get caught or punished. For those of you shaking your heads, sorry, yeah, they do. I know so many women who have hit their boyfriends, husbands, or ex-husbands and the police were never called; the women were never arrested and punished. Men don’t report these incidents because it’s embarrassing to admit to being beaten up by a woman. And when a woman hits someone she’s viewed as strong and sticking up for herself. That opinion is rarely applied to a man, and never if he hits a woman.

And let me be clear: I’m not saying that it’s right for anyone to beat anyone up.

I’m going to repeat that for the liberally challenged: I’m saying that it’s wrong for anyone to beat up anyone, in any shape, way, or form.

What I am saying is that I can’t buy into the liberal notion that half the population is hell-bent on beating up and destroying the other half. In domestic cases, it’s not right what men do. It’s not right what women do, either. But the PC crowd and liberals put the entire onus of domestic abuse squarely on men, and defend women by embracing the clichéd view of woman as pure and sweet and good. Think Damsel in Distress. But that just is not the truth. Both sides are responsible, and both sides usually are equally dysfunctional.

Tell the truth: When you have a domestic violence incident, and you take the man away and you’re left with the woman, most of the time you wouldn’t want that woman living under your roof either, would you? More than likely she has problems just as serious, if not more so, as the guy you just carted off to jail. Drugs. Alcohol. Mental illness. Society is only addressing fifty percent of the problem, and letting the other fifty percent fester by not dealing with the issues.

When men and women get hurt they both lose their tempers. What’s different is that when men get mad, they get physical. When women get mad, many times they fight with their emotions. And guess what? Both ways cause real pain. It’s just that our society only recognizes the infliction of physical pain as an offense, and not emotional pain.

If you accept the idea that emotional pain is the same as physical pain, this is easy to wrap your head around.

DAs, defense lawyers, and social workers who work with domestic cases see this all the time. A lawyer once said to me, how much is a man supposed to take? There are women who push men beyond the limits, just as there are men who do it to women. These professionals know what’s really going on, but just accept the double standard the system endows. And sad (or funny) to say, but in our society, men and women both get away with some of the things they do because of what’s between their legs. Men typically make more money, and women get the benefit of the law in domestic cases, including child custody.

It’s not a woman’s issue. It isn’t. It’s a human issue that affects both men and women.