Was sitting over on Washington Street around noon today. I like to just sit and people watch. Some other guy who was sitting there around those statues of the Irish immigrants just kept talking to me. Straight out of a David Mamet play. The guy was definitely on to something. Or doing something. He was whittling. A letter opener, he said, for a friend. Who the hell uses letter openers? And was he hell-bent on getting me to talk.
"You're not from Boston, are you?" he asked, pointing to my boots. Let's call him, Biggie Rat.
"Yeah," I answered.
"You don't see many boots like that," Biggie Rat said.
Stuff like that.
Then...some other definitely twisted individual came up. Long hair, bad teeth, cheap cologne, talking, talking, talking. Dude, what have you been popping, snorting, sniffing, shooting?
I'm actually enjoying myself by now.
They were talkng about raising kids. Sheesh, what poor child gets raised by these two? I'd rather be raised by wolves. It started with the gum. Hippie offered Biggie Rat some gum. They did a thing about how gum isn't what it used to be, which led to kids eating sweets, which lead Biggie Rat to talk about how "they" don't allow his daughter to have sweets at home which led to Hippie talking about his nephew who is fat because his brother and his wife would keep sweets away from him.
"I saw it coming," he said, grinning, showing his gross teeth.
Then...Hippie noticed some guy. He had just been killing time. Got real serious. Biggie Rat and Hippie quickly palaver, quietly, to the side. Hippie goes up to what looked like a homeless person. I turned around again and they were both gone.
A few more minutes, and Biggie Rat suddenly stood up. "Oh shit, I have to be somewhere in a half hour," he said.
"What did you say your name was?" he asked.
I didn't.
"I'm Mark," Biggie Rat said, offering his hand.
"John," and off he went, crossing to the street into the subway. I checked my wallet and watch.
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